. The 21st Century Scourge... ............

. Wallpaper


The problem with wallpaper is that I can just about guarantee you that whatever you put up, the next owner will despise it. Why should you care? Because some day you're going to buy a house that has unbelievably foul wallpaper which you'll have to tediously remove. It will send your mood downhill and then you won't want to wake up the next day because of your severe depression. Yeah, all this over wallpaper.


This wallpaper was some flavor of green and white striping. Not as bad as some big blotchy floral pattern, but still wrong for existing.

Tearing off the wallpaper wasn't too hard. I've had to work with wallpaper that wouldn't tear off at all.

The last owner hated the wallpaper the previous owner put up and covered this Asian motiff with something else. See, someone will always hate the wallpaper you select.

Thankfully I didn't have to rent a steamer to remove the wallpaper. Water was enough to soften the glue.

After I removed all the wallpaper I put on a coat of joint compound to create a textured wall.

Sanding the joint compound is your chance to get rid of the amateur trowel marks.

Two coats of primer were required to even out the blotches of the green sheetrock showing through the joint compound.

At first the paint seemed really bright, but as it dried, it became a little more subtle...as subtle as the color I've dubbed "Hi I'm a Gay Male from West Palm Beach and this is My Coral Paint" can be.

The paint is actually called "Peach Crush." Sure, it's loud, but the room always looks happy now. It's a disco lounge, it's a college-area cafe, it's a permanent sunset! (It might look terribly pink, but it really is wickedly coral.)

Now that the dining room is done, I've started tearing apart the living room. There's something about home ownership that's fatiguing. I thank the almighty every day for giving mortal man the knowledge to turn ordinary decongestant into methamphetamine...


Update! Here's the finished paint job in the living room/dining room area. I wanted an aqua color for the living room wall but ended up with minty green (those colors in the paint samples never quite turn out like you expect). Fortunately, I have been forever enamored with minty green and seeing how Chris's general response was "whatever," we're sticking with it. The Kelley interior style is best described as "Cheap Bastard Minimalism Meets the Swedes." It's discards from Mom's house, stuff dragged in from previous marriages, and a smattering of weirdly named items from Ikea. The most I've ever spent on furniture is $350 for my couch. If it doesn't have an engine, there's no way in hell I'm spending more than that.

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