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San Diego County Roads
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Hwy 94
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This is the border patrol checkpoint just outside of Dulzura. The border patrol dudes remind me a little bit of Caltrans worker: There always seems to be one doing the work and three standing around chatting it up. The key difference is that I'd rather piss of a Caltrans worker than a gun-toting border patrol officer.
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The international border at Tecate. Although there's one lane to squeeze your way into the U.S., there are two heading into Mexico, and they aren't protected with the slalom course they have over at the Tijuana border. This is important to remember if you ever need to exit the U.S. with some haste.
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Always leave your arsenal at home when you visit Mexico. Although I've transported arms numerous times across the border (for sale, of course), I'm a professional and I don't recommend that you novices do it. What's my secret? I pack the guns in cases of unrefrigerated red herrings. Throws them off the trail every single time.
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I think there's some confusion here. These signs are facing the U.S. side. Shouldn't "Welcome to Tecate" be facing Tecate? Oh details, details. The street name "Thing" is about as romantic as its environs. "Person" and "Place" must be right around the corner.
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This is it, the house I'm going to invest in as a bed and breakfast exclusively for bikers. It's boarded up at the moment so I think I can get a good price. Since it's just 100 yards from the border, we're talking location location location. I would've parked closer to the house, but I was afraid it might collapse and dust would get on the bike.
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This is the view when you leave the border and hit 94 again. Why are there four double-arrow signs? Are they in four different languages? Or if somebody doesn't get the concept, they can take out three and one will still be standing? If you can get beyond the signage, it's a nice view, especially if you're into vast amounts of desolation.
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There are several classes of houses along Highway 94: quirky, crappy, or abandoned. Can you guess which one this is? If you said "crappy" you need to free your mind. What can be cooler than to have a big swordfish in the front of your house? I aspire to emulate, if not exceed. I might just carve myself a whale for the old homestead.
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This sign is always good for a chuckle. Yes, technically there's a subway associated with it, but the only person who would have named this anorexic underpass a subway had to have been a bitter and lonely New Yorker. |
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Here's the "subway." This big daddy came to a complete halt in front of the subway. He really didn't know if he would fit. He painfully inched his way forward, waiting to hear the scrape of metal. It probably made him even more nervous that the person he had just passed on the roadside had something that looked like a recording device in hand.
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La Posta Road runs between Highway 94 and Highway 80. It's an extremely quiet road with only a few houses on it. That's probably because of that big dish on the hill. Since it was installed, the nearby residents have disappeared one by one. Those still alive are desperately trying to sell... |
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Oh, and here's why. The Naval Special Warfare Group has taken over this hill. Local folklore is that men with webbed hands and feet come out at night seeking residents to experiment on. Not surprisingly, nearby property is running below market value.
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This is asking a lot when you live in the shadow of the Special Warfare crew. Nobody appeared to be at the ranch. The laughter died long ago when the Head Optimist was found one morning with this pancreas stapled to the outside of his thigh; yet another failed attempt by the Special Warfare team to leave no marks on the locals. |
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