Lean Quisine Appetizers

There are two types of appetizers: fatty stuff or vegetables. Where is the medium ground between a robust deep-fried stick of mozzarella and a pathetic, tongue-turning stick of celery? The answer is obvious if you put on your Hostess cap and look for what's right in front of you! Ingredients: � All the Tootsie Pops in the flavor(s) you refuse to eat and have   collected over the past year � Cigarettes, preferably Marlboro because that's what is says on   the Ducati Desmosedici � Larger rawhide bones for guests with big mouths; smaller ones   for quieter people � Multivitamins � Saccharin to add to water (poor man's diet 7-up!); ideal for   washing down the multivitamin or rawhide bits lodged in throat � Anything else low fat that you want to rid your pantry or hallway   closet of Arrange the items attractively on a platter. Do not force onto guests, as those inexperienced with expanding their culinary horizons will be initially taken aback. Repeat appetizer dish at next party and find out who your friends really are.     Serving Note: For "adult" parties, replace the multivitamins with Vicodin and serve with Bombay Gin. Serves: 6 Sodium Level: Low Fat Content: Low Racer Fuel Rating: 2 stars