Why I Will Introduce Myself From Now On As "Trixie"


I found this paragraph on a web site about things Islamic:
"Islam considers zina a major sin, an indecent act, and an evil path. Therefore, protecting society from zina is an evident aim of Islam. Since zina is considered a great sin and a detestable social illness, Islam required doubtless proof for convicting an individual of zina and severe punishment for those convicted."  

And on another site:
"Scholars said that what makes some forms of gazing, talking, and touching forbidden acts is that they bring you near zina. Zina is regarded among the major sins in Islam."

So what is zina? 
"Zina in its broad meaning indicates any haram (prohibited) act, whether the act was sexual intercourse or a look, talk, touch, or desire that is related or may lead to elicit sexual relations."

What is the punishment for zina?
"The punishment for individuals who are married and commit zina is stoning until death." Apparently, the lucky unmarried ones just get flogged or stoned short of death.

How will this affect me, Zina the Proper Noun?
I'm scratching that trip to the Middle East, during which I had planned to wear a shirt with my name spelled out in rhinestones. That rhinestone shirt and I are going to stick to the continental U.S. I'm not sure I even trust Hawaii. Don't they have a huge community of Orthodox Polynesian Muslims who read the Koran over luaus? 

Update: Based on this email, someday someone may show up on my doorstep and whoop my ass in the name of Allah:

Dear Zina?

This letter has been written in response to an article in your website that appears to condemn Islam and the punishment and the Islamic logic relating to this punishment.

I do not know exactly who wrote the article, so if you have no knowledge of it please forgive me.

Regarding zina (unlawful), it is a major social evil, and a terrible sin! If nobody had ever committed zina the rate of sexually transmitted diseases would be as close to zero as you and I could ever imagine. There would be a few cases; those that are orginally contracted by non-humans (for example, the AIDS virus), etc.

Many unwanted pregnancies, disruptions in marriages, divorces, pornography, homosexuality, pedophilia, and many other social ills would at least be almost completely annihilated.

GOD, through his relevations and holy books, along with his 124,000 messengers and prophets (peace be upon each and every one of them) had condemned zina!

The punishment/s in this world are much smaller and less severe than the punishments in the grave and in hellfire!

If you need any more information please send me an email message. I will gladly reply.


I condemn no religion.
Frankly, the only religion I subscribe to is my own homegrown brand in which people should be decent to one another. I don't need any books to tell me how to comport myself. I treat people with respect who treat me with respect and if that's not enough to keep me out of the fires of hell, well, I guess I'll be shoveling coals while I whistle showtunes for all of eternity.