. Bloated in the Name of Warmth .

. Winter Gear


It's not easy being thin-blooded. The temperature on a wintery day in San Diego might dip down into the 50s. If you live in one of those silly places that snows, let me speak your language: it feels like 20 degrees farenheit to us. We are frail but tanned. We are latte-sipping Californians. That's just the way nature made us.
Layer 1: These are the fundamentals. I've found that sport bras are better than standard bras because they don't come unfastened. (Guys: For those of you new to crossdressing, lace gets scratchy after a while so save the pretty stuff for the cabaret show.) As for the underroonies, you know what your mom says about wearing "a clean pair" in case of an accident.
Layer 2: Silk underwear. Not until I started heavily lamenting my inability to stay warm did all the people into snow sports browbeat me into trying them. I don't know how magical their qualities are, but at least I feel like an empress while wearing this snooty fabric.
Layer 3: A standard cotton pullover shirt and cotton tights. The cotton pullover is less about retaining heat and more about protecting my body from the heat being put out by the vest. If you don't have enough between you and the vest, it feels like you're sitting way too close to a fireplace. The extra tights help keep the chill from the leathers from affecting my legs.
Layer 4: Widder electric vest. The electric vest is the only reason I can ride in winter. If I can keep my torso warm enough, I can tolerate most anything, even temps where I think I'm going to lose my fingers to frostbite. I didn't like the location of the toggle switch (wedged between my leg and bike) so I took a generic extension cord and morphed it with the OEM cord to put the toggle where I wanted it (hanging below my thigh so it can scratch up the bike). Thank god for pretty boys and electric vests.
Layer 5: More pullovers. I put one or two medium weight sweaters over the vest to trap all the heat being generated by the vest. One of the sweaters can be a turtleneck. I avoid two turtlenecks because with that, the vest, and the neck gasket, I'd feel like I was being choked.
Layer 6: Motoport jacket, First Gear leather pants, Daytona boots. After many comments to me by fellow riders (some from frightening places like Wisconsin) about the poor insulating qualities of leather, I bought a cordura jacket with a quilted liner. Not only is it warm, I also feel less like a squid and more like a responsible opposing-cylinder BMW owner with this jacket. I kept the leather pants because my legs don't seem to get really cold. My feet are also never cold; I think this is because of the inner "cast" that the Daytona boots have.

Layer 7: "Neck gasket" and helmet. The neck gasket can be made of any material; all it has to do is create an "air dam" at the top of your jacket so the air can't rush down your jacket. I sewed a loop of fabric together that was just big enough to pull over my head and long enough to wad up somewhat and create the air dam. I also sewed a flap of fabric beneath my chin. This reduces air movement inside the helmet dramatically. It's also good for people who wear contacts and would benefit from reducing air disturbance inside the helmet. All you have to do is sew two anchor points onto the padded area; then you can shove the rest of the fabric into the "crack" around the edge of the helmet.

Layer 8: Glove liners, Held winter gloves. The winter gloves are superior to regular leather gloves. Although they're winter gloves, they have a thin lining so they're not at all bulky. The Held winter gloves are also waterproof. The glove liners add an extra layer of protection.

Here's what I look like when I'm fully geared up.

In closing, thanks to all of you across the nation who love the four seasons and who love the snow. You're living somewhere where I couldn't survive for more than two minutes during winter on a bike. The fact that you're where you are means that 250 million Americans aren't crammed into Southern California just so they can ride the hills year 'round. God bless you and have fun riding that snowblower.

And thanks to those of you who read my first version of this page and corrected me on all the mistakes I was making with my clothing choices. You all have saved me from some very cold rides.

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