. If You Can't Be White .................. |
. Cut 'Em Off! |
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Why are white people lucky? Because they have noses. Or, more precisely, they have nice bridges that form the bulk of their noses. We Asians lack this bridge, and therefore wearing glasses is problematic: eyeglasses don't really have much to sit on comfortably. |
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When I put my helmet on, eyewear gets smashed into my face since there's no bridge to hold the glasses well away from my eyeballs. Since I have long eyelashes, this resulted in my eyelashes sweeping up and down the lenses every time I blinked. In case you didn't know, eyelashes do have oils on them. This caused my eyeglasses to get greasy, which forced me to look through a distorting smudge. Smudges are the happy biker's enemy. The costly answer to this problem: Get a nose job so glasses would properly sit on my face. Bonus: Get me an aquiline beak and maybe pass myself off as white (or possibly a very weird looking Italian?) so racist people won't know I'm the Yellow Peril and remind me every December 7th about what happened even though I'm not Japanese... The cheap answer to this problem: Cut my eyelashes so they can no longer touch the glasses. As shown in the picture, my natural eyelashes ("OEM") are unwieldly blades of excess protein. However, the trimmed version ("aftermarket") is a tidy collection of obedient soldiers who are unable to reach the eyewear. No more smudges and fun with scissors near the eyes! Disclaimer: If you're under 18, do not attempt to trim your own lashes. Have an adult help you, preferably one who's not drunk, angry or, overly adventurous. |
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